Wednesday, January 18, 2012

// //

Is It Universally Known That "The View" Is The Worst Television Program Of All Time?

Aside from Elizabeth Hasselbeck displaying trace amounts of bougie/elitist attractiveness, there's not a lot to like about this bunch. I had jury duty today because I'm a grown ass man apparently and the only thing I can take away from it is the undeniable fact that I hate all of these women with a pure fiery passion.

Doing the math, jury duty wasn't that bad up until "The View" came on TV. Sat there, napped against a wall and checked Facebook and Twitter all day. Honestly, it wasn't very different from a typical day of work. Then these bitches came on the screen and put on the most outlandish display of squawking I've ever witnessed.

As soon as the show started EVERYONE had something to say. Whoopi talking about how many times people confuse her for a dude, nameless blonde white chick talking about her cholesterol, nameless brunette white chick talking about Sandra Bullock, and Elizabeth trying to squeeze in some comment about apple pies. Pure chaos. No red-blooded human could have napped through that Hurricane Katrina-esque disaster. At first I thought it was a gimmick the show pulled as like an intro sort of thing, but then 58 more minutes went by and the credits rolled. That was fucking it. That was the show. I was left flabbergasted and wanted to ask the middle-aged female jurors why that show is crack for women.

Is that like us watching PTI or Sportscenter? If so, I've regained a new found respect for the female gender. I made a list in my phone of things I would legitimately do instead of watching another episode of "The View":

-walk over hot coals
-drink a bottle of hot sauce
-end one friendship
-strongly consider quitting my job
-go deep-sea diving even though I can't swim

I would have kept going, but they told me I didn't have to sit on the jury. Easily could have reached 1000 terrible things.