Friday, March 16, 2012

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Big-Time Asshole Felix Baumgartner Wants To Free-Fall From Outer-Space



This is why YOLO (you only live once) was the worst thing to ever happen to modern day society. Drake, ugh.

"Poured a bowl of cereal, but didn't have any milk left. Used orange juice. YOLO"

"Skipped class. Too nice out. YOLO"

"It's time to free-fall from space because free-falling off the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro wasn't enough. YOLO"

Call me a prude, but why bro? You are more or less the same person as the kid that got really good at magic in middle school. Like yeah, it's a little impressive that you made a card disappear, but I'm going to go back to living my life. Once you risk life and limp jumping out of a fucking spacecraft, your best case scenario is becoming a blip on the bottom of CNN.com with the headline "Daredevil Free-Falls from Space." Yeah you'll be famous for like 2 weeks. Maybe get an interview on the Today Show, but what happens next? Can't jump off the moon. Your career is over Felix.

Can someone explain the "talent" in base-jumping? Is there a way for someone to fall better than someone else? I go by the standard of thinking that if you survive you're awesome at base-jumping. Gold-star.

Leaped off my bed today, didn't die. Sign me Red Bull.

Thanks BB.

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