Wednesday, March 14, 2012

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I Don't Think Groupon Gets Me (My Last Five Offers)

Get me real liquored up and promise there will be at least a 25:1 girl-guy ratio and maybe I'll poke my head into the Lynn Auditorium to catch a bit of the Irish Rovers. While I'm not against "Venerable Irish-Canadian" folk bands, I'm almost completely against a group of 60+ year old men rocking out on a mountaintop.

Not even joking, Broga Yoga might be the stupidest business that I have ever heard of. Might as well have your slogan be "For the guys that are tired of hot, sweaty chicks in sports bras and yoga pants." Just be up front with it. The only reason I'd ever consider going to a yoga class is exclusively to NOT stretch, oogle at chicks, and eventually get arrested.

I might be able to get down with this. Anytime you're dealing with a CGI snake necklace wrapped around a naked chick, you have to give it an honest chance. While I've never been anything close to an artsy guy, a legitimate artsy chick with weird opinions is certainly on the bucket list.

I was down until that dude in the back came into focus. Like, what is he doing there? Being creepy? Actually enjoying the workout? I can't come close to getting a read on him and his scary smile. Not a chance that this isn't some sort of elaborate trap.

The only one that I looked at and gave real consideration to. Nothing clouds the fact that I am a degenerate than two tickets to the Boston Institute of Contemporary Art. I can tell my mother about this shit so she stops subconsciously hating me. Hell, I have a "classy" date for once that doesn't involve uncomfortable wine ordering and 100+ dollars. Fuck it, Art Museum, I'm in.

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  1. Myriam said... March 15, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    I also considered the ICA one! I would have love the broga, although then men in my yoga class are nasty, so not sure this would be a step up...

  2. Dub Jeezy said... March 18, 2012 at 3:40 AM

    let's hit up a broga yoga sesh and go on a classy date to the ICA

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