Monday, March 19, 2012

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My Bathroom's Body Wash Situation Is Absolutely Outrageous

^I'm so embarrassed by this for so many reasons that I had to post it.

First things first, there are only two dudes that use this bathroom. The fact that there are three body washes in there cannot be explained. The result is a catastrophic explosion of douchetastic and confusingly effeminate.

I'll go out and say that the Old Spice: Swagger is mine. Shit smells excellent and gives me that placebo-effect confidence Jordan gave to the Looney Toons in "Space Jam." Extra pep in my step when I rinse that shit off. That wannabe-sword looking knock-off with the fucking wolf on it is my roommate's wash. Not a bad selection, just infinitely worse than mine. You can probably guess what this post is really about though. "Romance" has been an unquestioned mainstay in my bathroom for upwards to two months now with no one asking questions. Not a soul considering to mention it. Just a sliver of Pepto-Bismol colored soap plaguing every day of my life.

Is it mine? I honestly don't know. Throughout the course of work, blogging and general fuckery, things get foggy. Gun to my head, I'd say no because that shit looks like it would instantly give me a rash, but I can't really be too sure. It just looks way too confident standing amongst the douchebag giants Swagger and Howl.

This is the biggest, most intriguing mystery to hit America since Jon Benet Ramsey.

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  1. Anonymous said... March 19, 2012 at 10:02 PM

    you guys are fruits, but this is hilarious

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