Wednesday, October 6, 2010

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Was Rampage The Wackest Game Of All Time?

Yeah, check the Red Ape's face. That's the exact same face that I made when I beat the game after 117 levels. Yes, 117 levels of the same song and fucking dance. The only real conversation that could have occurred based on this game's premise is: "Yo, Lizard, you want to climb a skyscraper, eat like 7 humans, a toilet, some poison, a dollar sign, and avoid the military for 117 straight days?" I can't even conceive another conversation that could have possibly happened.

They literally only ate people, dollar signs, and toilets for a long, long time. They were also logically thinking humans (made into giants by the government..I think), so there's no primal instinct excuse that can be tied to it. They were genetically restructured people left on a city block of 5 apartment buildings and an unlimited amount of cars. WAY more cars than people that could possibly live in the 5 buildings. I just remember one day my cousin and I committed ourselves to beating that game. The thought process was that the ending has to be ridiculously baller because the game was so repetitive/boring for what seemed like forever. Dad brought in some Mountain Dew, saw the intensity in our eyes and dipped out, knowing what was being attempted. It had to be a crisp 4am when we finally got through the game, and guess what? A spaceship picks up the "human" forms of the Ape and Lizard--credits roll. What?!

That was it. I've never been blue-balled worse in my entire life. Rampage, solified as the wackest game I've ever played.

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  1. Alex moner said... April 30, 2020 at 9:46 AM

    I can't even conceive another conversation that could have possibly happened.먹튀

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