Tuesday, October 26, 2010

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Four Loko Causing Kids To Get Cats Drunk

Not exactly the case, but Four Loko is becoming that new "Resident Evil" virus of our generation and causing college kids to get zombie drunk to the point where there forcing cats to funnel beers. Correction. This cat looks ready and willing to take this funnel down, but I bet it had some Four Loko too. Here's a quote from Central Washington University's administrative official:

"These people were fighting for consciousness almost ... their eyes were rolling back in their head."

Damn. Back in my day, you'd blackout, yell at a couple people, and possibly pee somewhere or throw up on your laptop--now these mofos are unconsciously terrorizing campus with no visible pupils. You best believe I'd perform at least 3 "All Weapons" codes per semester if this were the case. I'm like the "Blade" of Four Loko zombie'ism. I survived my first episode with Four Loko and it's taught me how to deal with others induced with the poison. I can also chill out in the sunlight and rock the leather jacket like no other.

But seriously, is that cat crushing this funnel? If so, I'm embarrassed in a way I've never been embarrassed before.