Wednesday, March 2, 2011

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Elephant In The Room: What Will I Do If The NFL And NBA Have Lockouts?

Let's be honest fellas, you're scared shitless. With all of these "labor talks" and fruitless "negotiations", it's safe to say we are about to be knee deep in no real sports being on TV for quite some time.

We're talking about the preposterous idea of having to watch Major League Baseball every day and the even more far-fetched thought of watching Premier League Soccer. Like I can't even imagine that. I can imagine getting hit by a car, but I can't imagine soccer being my only option for sports satiation for an entire year. I think I'm going to throw up.

Looks like I'm going to have to develop a...hobby. What's a hobby I ask? Not sure. I think it's something you do when you're not athletic. This little graphic is no help either. I'm pretty sure I'm not a white male/female living in Greenwich, Connecticut. Equestrian? Lacrosse? Anchoring??! Please. With that said, I will absolutely begin anchoring if both of these sports become temporarily defunct. Sailing the high seas dropping anchors in water, killing 5-8 aquatic creatures, possibly destroying some coral, I don't know. We'll make a party out of it.

Someone better step up at some of these high-level sports meetings and resolve this shit or else we will be fast approaching "Anchoring Man's Diary" status. Craw being my swashbuckling pirate sidekick and G just soaking the rays, not doing shit despite my pleas for her to teach me what Anchoring means.

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