Tuesday, March 8, 2011

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Tiger Wrecks Lion At Zoo Solely Because It Is Composed Of Tiger Blood

Big month for tigers huh? Before Charlie Sheen lost his mind, Tigers were merely cool. Now due to the phrase "Tiger Blood", tigers everywhere are getting a new sense of entitlement.

In an outlandish play, a tiger broke into a lion's cage today and just beat the shit out of it. Fed up with the lion being the headliner with: the "King of the Jungle", Lion King 1 (and ONLY 1), and being the most dominant in the animal cracker community. This tiger flipped on his television, saw that the buzz-phrase of the month is #TigerBlood or however that Twitter number sign bullshit works, and took action. Action being murder of a lion. As sad as it is to hear that an animal died in this altercation, I'm wondering if the tiger is the new king of the jungle? Ps I'm pretty sure lions nor tigers live in jungle. Oh well, the tiger's got the Juice now I guess.

Just waiting for the late surge by the elephant. I see your strategy. Laying low, being big and slow as fuck, spotting out an ideal time to stomp out a tiger when it's not looking. Prediction: Elephant will be king of jungle by 2025. My kids will be so confused when I tell them that title used to belong to the lion.

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