Wednesday, March 9, 2011

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NOT Happy About The Impending End Of The Dollar Bill

I don't know about you guys, but janglin' change in my pocket is one of the worst experiences that can possibly happen to me. Sit me in front of a televised baseball game with change in my pocket and I just might kill myself. Seriously.

I don't know what the stigma behind it is. Maybe I attract more homeless. Maybe I'm annoying people with the janglin'. I don't know, but the shit's bothersome. Anyways, they're talking about removing the dollar bill from circulation. Just a nightmare scenario. Granted, I use my card for just about every purchase, but on the rare occasion that I'm feeling frisky or want to get some gummy bears (who buys a single pack of gummy bears with a debit/credit card), I use cash. Dollar bills. Strip Clubs. What?! Think about the strippers please America. I know they're not real people, but it's their subsentence. That's like taking double cheeseburgers away from me. I'll probably be dead in like 3 days. Don't do that to the scrippas.

Bartenders. The other victim. You know when you get drunk and you try to tip when your cards not open with some cash? Think about the options. You're either leaving an assortment of coins, which may or may not land safely on the bar counter or you're leaving a fucking $5 bill. Outrageous. I know my abilities to land dollars safely on the counter waver at like beer 7, so imagine the free for all with coins. Bartenders slipping all over the place, spilling your beers and shit. Not a good look America.

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