Monday, May 17, 2010

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Memories From My Apartment Bathroom Senior Year



In a routine reminiscing experience, I couldn't help but remember a funny moment from my last year in college before I became a "Working Man." Because I am an immature writer, I will do it book report style circa 4th grade.

Place: Modular 11A. The best place in the world.
Setting: Undoubtedly a Sunday.
Time: Unknown
Headache: Intense
Mouth: Cotton
Girl In Sight: Fuck No

A more hopeful Dub Jeezy wakes up, confused and blurry-eyed because he slept in his contacts for the 97th straight night. Noticing only a minimal case of morning wood, he makes his way into the bathroom which is not but 2 feet from his room (this takes him 7 minutes). Upon entering the bathroom, our hero sees a shocking surprise waiting for him. There is a note on the toilet that reads:

"I don't know why, but I flushed the only pair of scissors we had in the Mod down the toilet. Again, I don't know why I did it, or how they properly flushed, but they are gone. The toilet does not work...mainly because there are scissors somewhere in there. I hope you didn't need to cut anything because the scissors are in the toilet. I didn't call a work order, I am sorry."

--I cleaned it up for clarity, otherwise it would have looked like the "Wing Dings" font.

In a bout of confusion, our hero bypassed the bathroom downstairs and chose instead to piss outside next to the school tennis courts.


I miss college.

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