Monday, May 17, 2010

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Why Karaoke At The Bars Is Awesome

^exactly what it's like when I'm belting my lungs out, tube-top and all.

First off, I spelled Karaoke right on the first try. In the grim life that is mine, that shit is a crowning achievement. Secondly, singing songs to complete strangers is the absolute balls.

I'm one of those "Rock Band" kids. You know them. They're the kids that sang "Say It Ain't So", "When You Were Young", and "Say It Ain't So" again (because it's easy as shit) drunkenly at 4am when you were trying to study for your LSAT senior year. So any opportunity I get to sing whilst drunk to other drunks is a slice of heaven. The thing about Karaoke is that if you're a cool kid (which I assume you are), you don't truly know any bar's Karaoke night. You just stumble in there, most likely drunk as sin because you and your cohorts randomly decided it was hard alcohol night, and notice the spotlight on the stage. The hand of god reaches down, tells you "it's time", and you go to that fucking sign-up sheet like your life depended on it.

Here's where you can dictate how your night goes. You can be that guy (that same guy that has all the bars' Karaoke nights calendar'd on his Iphone) and pick songs that like 2 people know, or you can be the cool kid and pick a god damn jam. By jam, I mean: 1990s, prominent in the "TRL" scene, 80% of the bar will be singing it, and women will be urged to toss undergarments at you, but will settle for just hooking up. Basically only two songs encompass all of those guidelines: "I Want It That Way"--BSB and "I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing"--Aerosmith. You don't even need to sing them well because no one will be listening, they're like the 1992 Dream-Team of Karaoke songs. Can't be beat...

Just get sufficiently drunk, casually meet some girls along the way, and sing those songs, and I GUARANTEE it'll be a fun ass night.

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