Wednesday, May 19, 2010

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TV Show/Cartoon Show Characters That Sucked: Jerry from "Tom & Jerry"

^look at that flimsy, yet taunting wave he's giving...just an asshole.

Despite a life-transforming event that happened to me last night that directly involved a mouse, I am still giving this week's title to Jerry. When you can recognize that a comically drawn cartoon mouse is a DICK as a 5 year old, you know that character sucked.

Well first off, last night was a problem. It created and opened an entirely new bag of ethical worms that I never thought I'd encounter. So I'm just hangin' when all of a sudden a baby mouse strolls (let me stress, strolls) into the room. I freak out because mice aren't close to being baller, but I wasn't that shook because I have to admit it was cute as shit--a baby mouse to my best estimation. Needless to say, in an attempt to immobilize the mouse, I lofted my dress shoe at it and, let's just say, it did more than immobilize it. I won't get into detail, but that shit was dead as a mofo. Foolish to even question it still being alive. Following that, I dealt with (still dealing with) roughly 20 hours of guilt and constant Youtube video watching of "cute mice." I'm weird.

Jerry, on the other hand, deserved the fate of the undeserving mouse that met the bottom of my shoe. He intruded upon this cat's home, full on knowing that cats eat the fuck out of mice, and raised the most hell. I felt like every episode had Tom just chillin' somewhere, drinking a lemonade, watching TV, when Jerry would just sneak up behind him with a mallet and bash him in the head. Why would you do that? I have to admit, Tom didn't truly have the killer instinct because his days also looked terribly boring. He needed Jerry to spice things up. It was frustrating for 5 year old me, who did have that killer instinct and wanted that cartoon mouse dead.

If you don't understand Tom's constant need to destroy Jerry, it stems back to their childhood:

Jerry definitely just hit Tom with a mallet.

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