Tuesday, August 17, 2010

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Calling Out LunchDates.Com



So I'm out on my way to lunch and like I do everyday, I spot a street urchin trying to peddle something. I just assumed it was "Save The Children" or some "Greenpeace" bullshit, but no, it was some glum looking fellow holding up some WordArt constructed piece of paper with Lunchdates.com on it. I gave him the stankiest of eyes and kept on my merry way. Then I started thinking...what's Lunchdates about?

Am I going to have to take a member of the opposite sex into my world during my lunch break? There may be roughly 4-6 girls out there that'd be able to hang with me on what I call a rigorous lunch regimen.

So I started this new trend of sleeping in public places during lunch break. As much as I hate and fear the homeless, their tactics intrigue me. Mainly the sleeping wherever the fuck they want thing. So say, I'm in a Quiznos, pizza shop, or Wendy's, I'm going to connect two chairs, put them adjacent to the wall, and you best believe I packed my bookbag with some comfy clothes so it could act as a pillow. Just immensely resourceful thing after another. Is Girl X going to be down for that? You know I only get an hour lunch, so you best believe I'm going to make it worth it. If you're fine with me not asking how your day is going, playing nothing but hits on my Ipod and then narcolepsy'n out for about 25-30 minutes, sign me up.

The only problem with my lunch routine is the whole scaring children and forcing management to check if I'm alive thing. If there was a second party involved just chattering away about how Steve hooked up with Betty, but Betty is in love with Kevin all the while not knowing Kevin's gay, I am all for it. Gives me a cover to drool to my hearts content.

I'm not calling you out because I don't like you LunchDates.com, I'm calling you out because I need you.

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