Wednesday, August 4, 2010

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What's Up With This Trend Of Young Girls Sailing Around The World?


^Reason #293990 on why I am going to spend all money and time on finding out how not to have a girl baby. Seriously

This is the latest underage girl to wake up one wonderful Wednesday morning and decide, "Hey, I think I am going to sail around the world." How does that work? Does she come down and run it by Mom or Dad? Or does she slowly spring it on them reminiscent of Ralphie hypnotizing his parents into getting him a Red Rider BB Gun in "A Christmas Story." I mean it was hard enough for me to hang out with my friends past 10PM at age 14. Now I am asking myself, was the bowling alley that much more dangerous than the Atlantic Ocean?

A 14-year old girl too? These are the most annoying chicks in the god damn game. Complaining about shit that hasn't even bothered them yet, dealing with hormones, and trying to climb the social ladder. This girl is going to socially eat herself from the inside out. No one to hear her complaints/randomly cry about nothing to/and no clique to strive to be better than. That is a 14-year old girl's lifeblood right there. No way she's surviving this trip. Aside from emotional issues, a 14 year old girl is just embarrassingly weak. Can't really see her getting that sail up in tough winds. Chick needs a spotter or something.

You heard it here first: "14 Year Old Girl Eaten by Shark" (WHAT UP Shark Week!), "14 Year Old Girl, Just Straight Up Blown Away", and last but not least, "Girl Dies of Teen Angst at Sea."

Daughters. Scientifically and forcibly not in the cards for this guy.

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