Thursday, April 22, 2010

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First Annual WMD NFL Mock Draft Pt. 1

With the draft upon us, I had to assemble some of the best minds in the game to decipher some of the tough questions. Three bonafide draft-gurus helped me out with this one: T-Dot, EJT, and Juice played integral roles in coming up with this mock. Each person's picks will be color-coded with T-Dot being Orange, EJT being Red, and myself Dub Jeezy, being Blue. Enjoy the in-depth analysis and see how right we are tonight when the actual draft comes on.

1. St. Louis Rams- Sam Bradford--QB Oklahoma

The St. Louis Rams are awful, they have one good player and no one around him. QB is the most important football so they will draft the QB to fill that need. It's a perfect fit, the Rams can't block anyone, and every time Bradford gets hit, he gets injured think the Vince Carter of football. Expect him to look good early, and then get hurt. You can also expect the Rams to be picking in the same spot next year.

2. Detroit Lions: Ndamukong suh-- DT Nebraska

Can’t pronounce his name to save my life. He’s 6’5, 300lb+ and fast. I’m actually going to use the term motor because I am a f****** draft guru today. He’s 6’5, 300lb+ and has a motor on him. Suh has all the tools necessary to dominate at the NFL level, plus his head is shaped exactly like a pineapple. Sold.

3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Gerald McCoy--DT Oklahoma

Slightly smaller than suh at 295 but could dominate for the bucs just like warren sapp did 10 years earlier. Extremely productive in college and consistently dominated opponents. Don’t know how many times this happens but Mccoy comes in as the best player for his new team.

4. Washington Redskins- Russell Okung--OT Oklahoma St

Last year Jason Campbell got hit more than Rhianna (what too soon?) The Skins just traded for a franchise QB (McNabb) so they will pick someone to make sure he can throw the ball and not spend all of his time on his back. Okung is mountain of a man (no homo) at 6-5 300 lbs and he should be able to do the job.

5. Kansas City Chiefs: Trent Williams—OT Oklahoma (Big Draft for the state of Oklahoma huh?)

Just your resident big bastard O-Lineman. A lunch-pail type of guy that can do all the things you need of an offensive lineman which means he can basically block from any angle…like Tetris? A good pick for the constantly rebuilding Chiefs.

6. Seattle Seahawks: Bryan Bulaga--OT Iowa

Not much to say about this guy, just your typical midwestern, quiet, giant offensive lineman except he already has pro-style skill and technique. And if that’s not enough there is a philipines variety show called “Eat Bulaga” a term destined to be chanted by Seahawks fans for the next ten years.

7. Cleveland Browns- Eric Berry--SS Tennessee

Eric Berry is the second best player in this draft behind a man named Suh. He will get this far because teams don’t want to draft a safety this early. He will instantly be the best player on the Browns which only means that he will leave for New York when he realizes his teammates aren’t any good. Or maybe that will only happen in basketball, who knows?

8. Oakland Raiders: Jason Pierre-Paul (JPP)—DE USF

Immediately gets my vote for scariest player in the draft. 6’5 270, fast as balls, was once a JUCO prospect? Imagine scuffing this guy’s shoe at the club. You’ll be smushed Super Nintendo-style. Al Davis will probably draft the guy with the fastest 40 time though.

9. Buffalo Bills: Jimmy Clausen--QB Notre Dame

Undoubtedly the most controversial pick of this year’s draft. Despite being a consensus dick he put together a monster season (28 TD – 4 Int) last year on a sub-par team and has the size to play at the next level. He scored a 23 on the Wonderlic Test which is for sure the most useless stat in sports.

10. Jacksonville Jaguars- Derrick Morgan--DE Georgia Tech

The Jags were last in the NFL in sacks last year. Derrick Morgan has been compared to Julius Peppers. His production alone should increase their sacks from absolutely abysmal to just not very good. If you are a fan of the Jaguars that has to be something you can get behind.

11. Denver Broncos: Sergio Kindle--DE/OLB Texas

A very safe pick to sure up a mediocre defense. With the exception of a surprising stud Elvis Dumervil and the immortal Champ Bailey, this defense doesn’t really have a face. With a name like Sergio, I am sure he’ll add that face as well as a bunch of women’s numbers to his phone.

12. Miami Dolphins: Dan Williams--DT Tennessee

An absolute monster at 6’3 325 and probably drafted much higher if he was in a different class. He will hold down the middle of the 3-4 for “the Big Tuna” and dive at Tom Brady’s knees for years to come.

13. San Francisco- Joe Haden--CB Florida

Joe Haden is the best corner in this years draft. He will shut down the other teams receiver more often than not. But to be fair if you’re a San Francisco fan you probably care more that he looks good in his uniform than how he plays. Since I don’t play for that team I have no idea how Haden will be received in San Fran.

14. Seattle Seahawks: CJ Spiller—RB Clemson

Electrifying. That’s basically the only word you can use to describe CJ. Not really a good inside runner, but if you give him an inch, the guy is gone. He also had like 29 kickoff return TDs last year, so I guess that counts for something. Seattle, Pete Carroll, and CJ Spiller? It just doesn’t look right.

15. New York Giants: Rolando McClain--LB Alabama

Despite falling since earlier projections due to nagging foot injuries the guy still seems like a can’t miss prospect considering he was the All-American captain of a national championship team. Unfortunately for him he goes to the giants where he can watch Coach Coughlin and Eli Manning meltdown every 4th quarter for games 9-16.

16. Tennessee Titans- Kyle Wilson--Boise State

Kyle Wilson is the second best corner in this years very deep draft. The Titans had a very exciting pass defense last year. When I watched my Patriots play them last year I was very excited to see that the Titans couldn’t cover anyone. They need a corner in the worst way and Kyle Wilson is best available.

end of pt. 1.

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