Tuesday, April 13, 2010

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I Refuse To Believe Vodka Tastes Better With Bacon

Like I've said many times before on this blog, this shit is certainly real. Again I ask..why? Why do you truly believe it's fine to stray from exotic fruits guys? Sometimes I wish I could sit in on some marketing meetings at companies. Like, "no Pepsi, don't make Pepsi Blue, no one will know what it is" and "please random vodka company, no one's out there begging that a bacon-flavored vodka get released." I'd be like the ghost of marketing past, just schooling dudes on target-audiences and percentage of market share. Nah, I probably wouldn't. Mainly because that shit is nerdy, but they'd get the idea.

How quick would you vomit if you took a bacon vodka shot? After you threw up 3 times because of the smell alone, could you even possibly begin to think about taking that shot? The bacon shot would become the new "birthday shot." You know that shot. The one strictly for 21st birthdays where the ultimate goal is to get the birthday boy to throw up everywhere because we're great friends. The Three-Wisemen and the Four-Horsemen will be replaced with the Bacon shot.

"Yo Ron, take this bacon shot man, it will get you going"
Ron proceeds to induce vomiting.
"Hell no, I'm out."

Just try to see what happens if you bring some girls to your VIP table and have bottles of bacon vodka chillin' on ice. It'll be a lonely night.

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