Friday, April 16, 2010

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If Routinely Going To Work Hungover As Balls Is Cool, You Can Call Me Miles Davis

^I feel you drunken baby...I feel you.

When you wake up in the morning and your body decides to play the old fashioned dice game of "Eat, Shit, or Throw Up", you know you're not fit for real-life for another 5-7 hours. For those who don't know, that old dice game represents your body's hungover confusion at what you should immediately do upon waking up. Your stomach is awry and is not transmitting the correct information to your brain, thus creating a roll of the dice scenario.

Let me tell you, dollar draft night is a gift and a curse. On the one hand, drinks are a dollar and you know you won't have a bad bar tab. On the other hand, they only serve them from 10pm-12am because Boston is ridiculous. It becomes a god damn grab bag scenario similar to the bread lines of the Great Depression. People just lining the gate sticking their hands through the bars hoping to get a loaf of bread (or like 3-5 beers). When you are lucky enough to get the call you buy in bulk because you don't know if you'll ever make it back. This leads to consistent double fisting (YEA!) which in turn leads to a quick, borderline sloppy drunk. No one's trying to deal with you when you're dancing to Lady Gaga spilling beers all over people. Needless to say, Thursdays quickly turn into Fridays, which is a good thing, except for the awkward encounter with Friday morning.

You generally wake up on this treacherous morning at roughly 25% intoxication level from the previous night depending on when you went to bed. This 25% can also make you bonified drunk in the morning if you were sloppy as hell the night before. I was this case. When your bed feels like a cloud composed of happiness and serenity, you know you're pretty out of it. Then I rolled the figurative dice for everyone's favorite on-the-fly bodily decision game. Due to time constraints and fear of a sore throat, I opted to eat a bacon egg & cheese bagel. I still don't know if that was the right decision.

Basically all I've done today is put up a filled Excel sheet, lean back in my chair and take small, concentrated sips from a water bottle in 3 minute increments. Are you ready for the weekend? I sure am.

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