Monday, April 19, 2010

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If You Have Two Hundred Bullets Left In The Klobb, Will A Dude Just Choppin' Away Kill You?



You know what I'm talking about. The Nintendo 64 video game MVP, "007: GoldenEye" was in everyone's shoebox back in the late 90s early 2000s. I had my first genuine swears to this game. Not the "I said the 's' word" because it was edgy and had potential to shock the 5th grade landscape. It was the 3am, fueled on all sorts of Mountain Dew and cookie/chip combination swears. The ones that made mom ask if everything is ok. The reason these problems developed stems solely from the "asshole friend" of video game guns. The gun that's always around with plenty of bullets, but no one wants to have. Especially when you're backed in a corner.

The loneliest corner in the world becomes a reality when you are stuck in the "Facility" bathroom with only 100 bullets left in your fucking Klobb. Look at the picture. The gun just look like it's made poorly. Bullets made of gummy bears or something. Honestly, I have been in a scenario where a person saw me haphazardly shooting my Klobb in defense of his maniacal chopping. What kind of world do we live in where 3 chops is A LOT more effective in killing someone than..um..bullets? When the bullets are gummy bears that's when. Dudes were trying to catch those sad gummy loft shots in their pocket to save for later after I was dead. Shit was embarrassing. Everyone had Golden Guns and Soviets, while I was working. Looking in strange corridors, flipping unflippable boxes, and going through secret doors. Never to any avail...

I would describe myself as the blue-collar GoldenEye player. Just working hard and getting no wins.

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  1. Spellgirl said... April 19, 2010 at 9:11 PM

    A Working GoldenEye's diary.

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