Wednesday, April 13, 2011

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The Catastrophe Of Catastrophes: Being Stuck In An Elevator With 27 Other People

You have one of two options in this scenario: a) make lifetime enemies and come close to killing someone or b) find true love. Let's dig into these a bit.

Option A is what most of us will roll with considering the selection we have in this elevator. Just feisty women that just got out of work trying to catch their train. Might as well be Mufasa falling off the cliff into the stampede. Straight goner. Best bet is to fight fire with fire and identify yourself as the crazy dude in the elevator from the get go. Rather it be you than someone else right? So go ahead, say some outlandish shit, accost somebody and really give it your all without actually committing a crime. It leaves you in pole position until someone rescues your ass. I see it as the "Real World" principle. The goal is to get recognized, whether it be for good or bad reasons. No one wants to be the cast member that genuinely has no impact and goes through every day not mattering. Be the one that breaks shit, hooks up a ton, or has anorexia. Own it. Then the fire department comes and you go back to normal life.

Option B is some fantasy land bullshit that will never happen. I had this thought process last year that if I kept going to the grocery store I would eventually meet a girl that happened to drop a cantaloupe or something. Shit didn't come close to happening. Either girls have incredible skills in the produce section, or that's some stuff you see in the movies. File getting trapped in the elevator with 27 others as another one of those situations. If it was 2 people trapped it's a different story completely.

Or you could kill yourself. The video said there was no AC in there, and no one likes to be stuffy.

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