Monday, April 11, 2011

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Didn't Quite Master Hot Yoga On The First Try

In light of this being one of my typical habits I didn't exactly expect to dominate hot yoga on the first go around. Some of you might be wondering why my 250-pound not-so-flexible self would decide to take a trip to the 110 degree hot box for some weird ass stances...The answer is simple. I lost a bet.

Actually the bet took place a couple weeks ago in a bowling match where i proceeded to rip my pants...yikes. If I won I would've taken home 100 bucks and a buffalo chicken sandwich with a side order TBD. Unfortunately with the wardrobe malfunction I wasn't able to get past frame hot yoga it was.

I step into the room and relay the fact to my crazy marathon-running buddy that it wasn't that hot...He then snapped back with "dude they haven't even turned on the heat." Oh shit. Once I actually felt the blazing temperature within the first time minutes I was ready to quit faster then Manny retiring. Then we moved on to the actual exercises...

At the end of it all looking back I don't think I performed even one yoga position correctly. Not only that..but I spent the majority of the class with my head in the mat while every other nut-job went about their workout. Sure every dude insists that yoga is a great way to pick up a few girls...I say false. What chick in their right mind would be attracted to the guy in the corner panting because he literally can't take the heat? Didn't even bother checking the scene out of sheer embarrassment.

I was also the only one in the place who snickered when the rest of the group started humming in unison while stretched with their legs twirled around like a pretzel. Safe to say I don't think I'll be attending the next session...and the class won't miss me.

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