Monday, April 18, 2011

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Safe To Say Walter Breuning Lived A Little Too Long

That title definitely sounds a little harsh, but I live by one rule here as kingpin of WMD: Never proofread or edit yourself, because you're always awesome. How else do you think we have all of this money and tons of advertisers drooling over us?

Back to real life--my man Walter is just really old. Nothing else to say about it other than 114 years is too many years to be alive. I'm 23, and I'm like "Mehh, what do the next 60 years really have in store." Dude was around for like 5 different recessions, 7 wars, railroads, cars, rotary phones, Facebook, black people not being slaves, leather helmets, and Woodstock. Shit's ridiculous. I probably would have called it quits when the internet rolled around. Just would have ate the most uncooked red-meat and tons of gummy bears until I just rotted away. After listening to fireside chats with Teddy Roosevelt it must have just scrambled his already scrambled mind that Obama has a Twitter account.

This is an open invitation to all readers to murder me if I ever break 100. (This is completely nulled if they invent some sort of elixir that keeps me young and awesome looking forever)

PS. How pissed would you all be if you had to get WMD links on your Facebook newsfeed for the next 80 years?

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