Girl Plays Poker

So this is me 20 minutes before going to play poker with some friends who actually know how to play poker. How do I always end up in these situations? I've been hardcore reviewing and considering printing this handy guide out in super mini script and keeping it in my pocket. I never did this for tests in highschool, but now seems like the best possible time to start.

I asked my friend for advice, and he said, "Play tight and act clueless." Oh yeah... I'm a girl. I can't possibly know what I'm doing.

BUT if Craw can make it through an hour and a half of hot yoga, (and tell me that he'll go AGAIN with me at some point... CHAMP <3) then maybe I can walk away from the table throwing cash and chips in the air in pure joy and feeling like I have just won the most epic battle ever.

15 minutes and counting. I'll let you know how this goes. Bets on how long I last before I lose all my chips are welcome and encouraged in the Comments section.