Clear Violation Of Bros Before Hoes

I don't know if anyone saw the same video I did, but damn. What the hell was that? I was roped into a heartwarming tale of a tortoise and a hippo. I was completely ok with watching them chill in the mud pond and lay out in the sun for the entire duration of the video, but no, you have to bring in facts, figures, and conniving gold-digging hippo bitches into the scene.

How do you think Mzee feels here? They keep saying his boy is "getting too big" and "his weight may become an issue." I'm pretty sure that's what they're going to be saying about all my friends in 30 years. Doesn't stop us from watching football and drinking our faces off. What's wrong with them catchin' rays and crushing mud ponds for the rest of their lives? Nothing. Introduce Cloe, the needy, complaining girl that we ALL know wasn't right for Owen, and have her come in and seduce him away from his boy. I don't respect that. She doesn't bite him to lead him in the right direction/listens to his problems in the mud like Mzee did.

Just saying, keep your friends close guys.