Monday, May 23, 2011

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This Imaginary Phone Is Going To Allow Douchebags To Reach A Whole New Level

Personally I'm a little scared. I've seen douchebags and I know they are completely capable of utilizing this in the douchiest way possible. I can see it now. People just touching their hands like they're giving someone directions for the sole purpose of using "new technology." It's like when people bought Ipads without having a clue what they actually did, but with an additional pinch of asshole.

The concept is just absurd to me. Are people really too busy to dig in their pocket to grab their phone and send a text message? Timeout, wait..are people sending invisible texts with the imaginary phone? I need to see one of these texts. Can't be anything more than garbled jibber-jabber right?

--"Hey, what are you up to tonight?"

--"QD!@$5 %ADZZP"

And that is how you ruin a friendship/potential romance. Actually, you were probably screwed from the get go because you were douchey enough to invest in an imaginary phone. That hypothetical girl was undoubtedly some hypothetical skank that wanted in on your fake technological lifestyle. I know the rapture didn't happen, but if these things start circulating, I kind of wish it did.

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