Wednesday, May 25, 2011

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Is This Chick In My Office Pregnant?

I'd grade myself an F- in terms of female comprehension. Generally, I have no fucking clue what's going on with them and probably never will. Just pissin' chicks off all the time by accident. With that said, I try to tread lightly around the office since, you know, I don't want to get fired.

Today was a little light so I decided to spice things up a bit. I hopped into a gender-changing time machine and became Nancy Drew circa 1997. Stay with me here. There's this girl in my office who recently got married. She's pretty cute and we all know that the first 6-months of marriage are full of, "yes honey"s and sex. So today she's taking a ton of trips to the bathroom meaning she's either sick or pregnant. Keep in mind, F- comprehension. My thought process is if she's sick, why doesn't she go home? She's not the "hardest" worker, so obviously something is afoot. I'm not trying to get hoodwinked/bamboozled on a god damn Wednesday--I'm like a hawk on Wednesdays. Not going to sneak things past me possibly cute, recently married coworker.

So the dilemma is, do I just start a RISKY rumor throughout the office that she's pregnant. I literally see no positive in doing it, but I want to so bad. The Hardy Boys definitely wouldn't try it, but this is definitely the type of shit Nancy would get caught up in.

Like a 4% chance I ever get married.

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