Check Out This Asshole

What are you reading bro? Because I'm pretty sure it's not even relevant to what I'm fucking searching for. You've all seen this guy on your work computer. Giving you that trusting little smile like he knows what he's doing. Dude is the most unreliable dog I've ever seen. Just sits there, piddles around, reads books with blank pages, and collects his paycheck.

That's like me going to work, pretending to open an excel spreadsheet, and just staring at it for like 7 hours. Wait? I do that literally every day. This is like that scene in Rocky 4 where he says, "If I's can change then you's can change", but instead of ending the Cold War, I'm wrapping up a fictional blog post fight with the search dog on Windows XP. They go hand in hand really.