Thursday, December 22, 2011

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No Worries Everyone, R. Kelly Has Written 32 More Chapters Of "Trapped In The Closet"



If you were one of the millions wondering where the Pied Piper of R&B has been hiding, fret no more. My man Robert has been hard at work crafting another 3 hours of closet searching, midget evading, AIDS having madness.

I, like many of you watched the first 5 parts of Trapped in the Closet with utter shock and amazement. Mainly a "why the fuck did I enjoy that so much" mindset, but it definitely put asses in the seats. In my opinion five was enough. It had all the elements of a great story: a cast you empathized with, a dude hiding in a closet with a beretta, a gay plot twist, and pure suspense. Each turn was twistier than the last and it all culminated with the final kaboom. Then I heard 17 more were created that involved dwarfs and the overall concept of AIDS. Probably the most overlooked cry for help DVD box-set this past decade.

So Kells, how about you call Jay-Z (let's assume he deleted your number), leave a voicemail BEGGING to try another "Best of Both Worlds" album because the other two weren't that bad, and try to grasp the magic that you had on "I Believe I Can Fly." Impossible is nothing.

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  1. Anonymous said... December 22, 2011 at 11:34 AM

    you can never make too many of these

  2. CW said... December 22, 2011 at 9:58 PM

    Think you meant "pee'd piper"

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