Tuesday, December 20, 2011

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Guess This Kid Terrorizing Everyone At The Mall With An Ipod On Is The New Hot Bananas

The mall is a strange dynamic around Christmas time. A lot of panicked men between the ages of 18-55 are making rushed and questionable decisions because the deadline is closing in. Toss in boy wonder over here and I guarantee things get kicked up a notch.

Yesterday, my roommates and I took a trip to the mall to get the jump on Christmas shopping. Went into a sports store, did a U-turn and came out. Poked our heads into a toy store that seemed to exclusively sell only Mahjongg and like 30 different versions of Monopoly. Then we went to Taco Bell to collect ourselves and figure shit out. After some Grilled Stuffed Burritos and strange Mexican Pizza orders, we got back out there. Our renewed sense of confidence and vigor quickly turned into fear and panic. I found myself lost between Abercrombie & Fitch and Victoria's Secret, trying to avoid smelling anything like A&F while not sneaking too many creepy stares at the Angels on display. What came out of the night was a mish-mash of hurried confusion and missed opportunity. Typical male trip to the mall.

Throw in this cocky motherfucker Preston Leatherman and you best believe it'll be anarchy out there. One spin move pirouette in my grill and there's a 100% chance I'm taking an errant swing. Not because I dislike the dance moves (because he's honestly killing it for the duration of this video), but because of the principle. You don't go near a wounded animal trapped in the corner like you don't spirit finger a confused and disgruntled dude trying to decide if a gift card is better than a DVD.

PS. Never been more jealous of anyone in my life.

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  1. Anonymous said... December 20, 2011 at 9:40 PM

    i didn't hate that. and i'm upset about it

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