Wednesday, December 14, 2011

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Merry Christmas Mom!

Hey Mom, I know how much you love low-risk, high-reward Christmas gifts, so I said why not splurge for the Passenger Seat Office. Why get you something risky and off the wall like a necklace when I can get you the safest, most practical gift on the market today?

Believe me, I know how much you like to multi-task in the car. Sometimes you change the radio station, sometimes you're illegally on the phone, and sometimes you're doing both. Being the best son in the world, I got you something that lets you do all of that and more. Need to change that Excel document while making a U-Turn into oncoming traffic? Done. Want to upload some Facebook pics of me doing funny shit during thanksgiving while merging into the next lane? Done again. I know you're probably going to ask, "Did he get me the printer with the non-skid Auto Exec. power inverter?" Obviously I did. How are you going to do all of your work when shit is skidding everywhere while you're on cruise control? This ain't Bush league mother, I mean business when I get you gifts. Remember a few years back when I got you a waffle-maker even though you already had one? That was an awesome experience and it brought joy to may face to see your excitement. I know you didn't forget that oven mitt with my baby picture on it. Definitely know you're using that. So add the Passenger Seat office to my list of awesome gifts. You're welcome.

PS. Completely kidding this thing is a god damn DEATH TRAP. Necklace is currently in the mail mom.

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