Wednesday, December 28, 2011

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Newborn Babies Flooding The Newsfeed



Call me an asshole, but I'm not the biggest fan of seeing 8 week old fetuses when I crack on the old Creepbook. I'm on there trying to get a full dose of strangely personal status updates, Mobile Upload mirror pics, and the occasional relationship status change. Not only are Facebook "I'm having a baby" albums wildly inappropriate, they're also gross as hell.

"Here's little _____ still covered in after-birth with Daddy"--these pictures and captions happen FAR too often. It pains me that I live in a world where right under some girl's "Bahamas Vacation" album there is a picture of a soft skulled newborn. I get it, having a baby is a wonderful time in a person's life, but there is a most definitely a time and a place. Namely not my Newsfeed. Give it a couple weeks, clean it up, put on some cute clothes, and maybe get it a stuffed animal. No need to give us closeups of the Midwife and your OBGYN, we don't give a fuck. We care about results. I need more Newsfeed pop-ups like this:



Little Dub J looking ambiguously gendered as a motherfucker. Definitely cute, but you definitely have no idea if I'm a dude or a chick. See everyone? Instead of turning away and throwing up because you're pretty sure someone "tagged" placenta in the picture, you can get all warm and fuzzy looking at fat baby me laying on what appears to be a cloud.

No more newborns on Facebook everyone, thanks.

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  1. Anonymous said... December 29, 2011 at 7:59 AM

    little dub was god damn adorable

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