Monday, March 1, 2010

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The Most Frustrated Animal Ever

Inside the head of the pebble toad:

Alright, for some reason God just decided to make me the only fucking frog-toad thing that can't really hop. It looks like it'll take me quite some time to reach the top of this mountain. Why am I climbing a mountain anyway? This is a struggle and a half. I'm positive there are bugs on ground level, but I am 2 1/2 feet up, so there's no turning back I guess......

Eh, this trip isn't too bad. Wait..was that a tarantula? There is no reason that a tarantula should be at the top of a god damn mountain. Like I said, bugs are at the ground level. No, no, nooo. You're being dead serious that this is a Pebble Toad eating tarantula? It looks like I was born automatically receiving no whistles in my favor. Can't hop. Check. Shorter than normal arms. Check. A tarantula that specifically eats you and only you. Chickity Check. Well, it didn't see me I don't think. I'll just speed this whole thing up, get my grub on, than bounce my way down. Oh wait. I can't speed up because my body is anatomically inferior in every way. Shit. I'm a downer today, wow. Hopefully I'll bounce back tomorrow (ba-zingg).

Ok, almost there. Hey tarantula, can you skooch over real quick? I didn't take into account that you have double the amount of legs I have and god doesn't hate you. Explains why you're fast. Welp, had a good run.

--After bouncing down--

I hate my life.

3 Reactions to this post

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  1. PostScripter said... March 1, 2010 at 10:49 PM

    that look at the end... well-described.

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