Tuesday, March 16, 2010

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Sometimes The "M" Rating On Video Games Actually Means Mature

Sometimes you know when you shouldn't be playing a video game or watching a movie.

I'm a manly guy by all means. Damn near piss excellence. But some shit just ain't right. I bought God Of War 3 today in high anticipation because the first two were the best games that I have ever played. Granted I played the first two for PS2 and not on a high-definition television. Things changed quickly when the PS3 and an HDTV became involved. Basically, the game is about dismembering as many characters in Greek mythology as you can. And by dismember, I mean slaughter. By slaughter, I mean eviscerate. On the PS2 the polygons, pixels, and whatever other shit that was involved did not create the actual recreation of killing something for real. Keep in mind, the game gives you like 75 warning about playing the game, basically asking, "are you sure you know what you're playing?" "you positive you want to get into this shit man" "I know you, you're better than this", pretty much cutting to my core. Seconds into God of War 3, I realized, that either I have a really good TV, or this was getting realer than real before I had a chance to even understand. The first 5 minutes offer breathtaking visuals and all the other artsy stuff. I was amazed to be honest. Next 5 minutes, I wish I could have been prepared for.

You get into a fight with Poseidon (where you at T-Pain from "I'm On a Boat"?) and yada yada yada, you have to kill him as most typical video game battles end. Let me stress again, the graphics are awesome. You basically execute the guy in the most brutal way possible. Ripping limbs off, punching him in slow motion like it was Fight Night, and there's blood everywhere. It's genuinely uncomfortable. Then to top it off (graphic alert), you have to gauge out his eyes as you rip off his head. I was fucking speechless. What happened to the days of Ms. Pacman and Crash Bandicoot's zany ass? I felt like I legitimately took a life. Poseidon's no less. Wasn't that the dude that was Ariel's father in Little Mermaid. He had an awesome beard, that's no way for him to die. So basically, this game is going to be a test of my character and resolve. Pretty much weighing in on whether I have testicles or not.

Not for the faint of heart people. Or people with great TVs.

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