Friday, March 19, 2010

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What's Worse: An Impossible Hang-Nail Or Mistaking Something Blue For Something Black (Or Vice-Versa)?

^the position your body will be in if you encounter either of these situations. Please believe that I am dealing with both of these right now.

1) Hangnails. Suck. WebMD among other opinions tells you to leave them alone and they will take care of themselves. You on the other hand naturally have that "fuck that" pulsing through your veins. It doesn't look like that much of a hassle. It's kind of dangling out of there and gives a great spot to bite it off. Easy money. You go in and all seems good and calm. Then you notice your trajectory is off and you're biting right next to the hangnail, thus making a larger hangnail. Now it becomes a snowball effect of trying to get that shit out of your finger. Do you give up and deal with the pain and let nature run it's course or do you keep trying because you're stubborn as hell? I took the latter. Needless to say, I can't really type right now and there is some casual blood rolling out.

2) Wearing the wrong color shirt than you thought you were originally wearing is just embarrassing. There is just nothing you can do. A mental pain that will last the entire time that you are out. My outfit combination rested solely on the shoulders of my shirt selection. It was paramount that the shirt be black or else I'd be on some clown-level Junior-Varsity work outfit shit. It took until I was sitting on the T that some old lady was grilling me hard. When I doused the possibility that she wanted me, I realized the scoop. The mofo'in shirt was navy blue. The day was ruined before 8:30. People respected me less in the office, no one took my opinion seriously, and overall I couldn't get into a flow. I was tripping on the most cracks on the street. Pedestrians were wondering if I was some random vagrant inebriated off of some sort of crippling substance. Not a good look.

When they both happen in the same day. That's the worst. Question answered.

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