Thursday, March 18, 2010

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Ugh, So I'm A Little Drunk

^oh, catchy t-shirt slogan, but I am!

Seriously though, hasn't it been a long time since I left a legitimately drunk post. On a Wednesday no less. I've just been straight up disappointing my one reader continuously with all of these "sober" posts that make sense and have a direction.

Well, fret not my reader, for I am drunk as shit right now and I'm proud to say it. Yes, my mother reads this blog and I am sure that I will receive a call for my Wednesday antics. It's fine. She's miles away and there's always a "Call End" button (sorry Mama, love you). Anyways, this mofo got a little faded tonight. I got a tad bit dumb tonight and reached a level of unsobriety that no man should reach at the rich time of 4pm. I also realized that I should probably run the New York and Boston marathons all at the same time. I think I can win. Know why? Because I walked across Boston today folks. Granted, it's a small desolate little city, but I did it. Myself and my trusty ally Dick Palmer, waged war on these streets and mainly the bars like two post graduates with nothing to lose can. We drank harder than hard, and walked harder than Dewey Cox. It was a true test of resolve and spirit. My liver played the role of the "Little Engine That Could." Damn near brought a tear to my eye how inspiring that shit was. Needless to say, I went slag surfing, recovered a number (though it wasn't of my doing?) and achieved a Digiorno at the end of the night. I no doubt doused that shit in hot sauce. The kid ain't playing tonight.

So anywho, I'm sorry for the coherence of this post whereas I am actually drunk, but am simply too baller to allow myself to type sloppily. It's in your honor.

Enjoy the morning everyone. I know I won't.

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