Friday, October 28, 2011

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Candygrams, Or Tiny Little Indicators Of Social Ineptitude?



So we have this thing at work called 'Candygrams.' They're little baggies full of candy for Halloween, and you pay $1 to have one sent to a person of your choice. A Halloween Valentine, if you will. I thought of them as nothing more than a harmless little fundraiser put together by the 'Morale Committee' (Yes, we have a committee specifically designed to keep up morale. Makes you wonder why morale was so low in the first place.).

Today, they passed out these Candygrams, and let me tell you, all hell is breaking loose. As they were coming by to hand them off, the lady dropped a respectable two baggies onto my desk. I let go a sigh of relief. Little did I know they were from my manager and my trainer….aka Pitygrams. Which is almost worse than no candygrams. I reluctantly ate a mini snickers and got back to work (aka checking my fantasy team).

About ten minutes later, I got up to go to the bathroom and saw that other people's desks were littered with anywhere from eight to ten of these diabolical little baggies. Smiling jack'o'lanterns and tiny bags of skittles surrounding me on all sides. As everyone around me danced in their sugar fueled euphoria, I was left face to face with the soul-crushing reality of my interoffice irrelevance.

Not a good way to start the weekend.

Also, Connecticut is supposed to get 6 inches of snow tomorrow. WTF. It's October. Could use some of that global warming kicking in right now. If this is any sign of things to come, I'll be spending my Saturday night shelled up in a bathroom with a box of Franzia.

I always thought of Halloween as a judgement free holiday. Leave it to the Morale Committee to ruin that.

NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: I just found some Gobstoppers in one of my bags. Things are looking up.

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