Wednesday, October 26, 2011

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Have They Taken Candy Corn Off The Shelves Yet?



Candy corn is fucking gross. Sure there are apologists out there that'll defend it, but they're idiots. You can't tell me that you'd prefer some waxy high fructose corn syrup over any other candy out there. Seriously, I'd rather eat a MARS Bar than 1/10th of a candy corn and I literally have no clue what a MARS Bar is. Not even confident in the capitalization of "MARS."

I had a notebook that I used to blacklist places in my neighborhood that regularly distributed candy corn. Shit was insulting to my existence. I'm trying to bounce off the walls from pixie stick sour grains and Butterfinger minis getting cavities and what not. As a responsible 24 year old, I feel that I can host some trick-or-treaters this year and you best believe I will have the greatest lineup of treats for those little bastards. Crunch bars, Snickers, gummy bears all day, and maybe, just maybe some Sour Patch Kids if I'm feeling like breaking the bank.

Candy corn are the Peeps of Halloween. Peeps suck.

4 Reactions to this post

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  1. Spellgirl said... October 26, 2011 at 11:52 PM

    Pa Spells lives off Peeps. Be careful.

  2. Dub Jeezy said... October 27, 2011 at 12:07 AM

    there are exceptions to the rule. he's a man of refined taste.

  3. Anonymous said... October 27, 2011 at 12:28 AM

    I love candy corn!! Ur crazy!

  4. Anonymous said... October 27, 2011 at 9:17 AM

    I agree, but this is an aggressive stance. Hilarious, but aggressive

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