Tuesday, October 4, 2011

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Someone Found WMD By Searching "Does A/S/L End In A Question Mark?"

I ain't mad atcha random creeper who found the blog via weird question. Despite the fact that there is a very real possibility you are one of those "Red Blips" on Family Watchdog, you are also one more pageview. I'm in no position to turn those down. In fact, I'll embrace it and remember the very weird year that was 1999 back when it was only mildly inappropriate to type "A/S/L" over the internet.

Chat rooms. Where young creeps honed their craft and the finest vagrants learned how to spit internet game to (presumed) chicks. If you read half of one post on this blog, you can immediately pick up that I 100% fit into the "Creep and/or Vagrants" category. That said, I frequented a few thousands of chat rooms in my day, a lot of which I'm not proud of. They started out with legitimate intentions. Like, hey maybe I'll talk basketball with fellow fans in an NBA chat room. Then as puberty set in, I said maybe I'll poke my head in a couple "Hot, Single, 20s" chat rooms. Being 12 years old, I needed to come up with an alias so Mom couldn't trace that shit back. Also being 12, I was a fucking idiot.

Thus Kenny Jackson was born. Kenny was a 22 year old male from Orlando, Florida, who was a huge Orlando Magic fan. He was also known as 22/m/FL. Basically his life mimic'd Penny Hardaway, but that's besides the fact. I used that alias to get into chats with some of the "hottest", "single", "20s" in all the world. Funny story, those hotties consisted entirely of 12-15 year old dudes trying to get their rocks off in the weirdest way imaginable. Not a worse realization in my life was when I found that out. RIP Kenny Jackson.

It's 2011 bro, how about you poke a few girls on Facebook that you aren't friends with and call it a night.

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