Tuesday, October 25, 2011

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To The Left, To The Left: A Facebook Story


^75% of the time, pressing the left arrow when you look at someone's Facebook photos produces an entirely different person.

2005. That was the year I and probably most of you hopped on the Facebook bandwagon. It was a big year for me personally. I was transitioning from high school to college and had the entire world in front of me. Now I'm blogging in ripped boxers, sipping a Capri Sun. Funny how things change, huh?

Facebook started the "Photos" feature a couple of years later and that's when everyone (almost exclusively girls) made the fatal flaw of tagging literally everything and everyone they saw. A Nikon Coolpix camera was like fucking catnip in the dorms. Chicks were getting ready at like 6:30 for a party at 11 just so they can take 100s of pictures from a variety of angles and with every possible friend combination. Sure, it was fun and most certainly paved the way for me to become the creeper that I am today. But what everyone didn't anticipate was that those pics were going to remain online for internet-forever and create a weird flip book of life destruction.

Let's get interactive:

Press the left arrow on one of your friend's photos. Do you see bright eyes? A lot of happy friends? A fit body? A hint of aspiration?

Now press the right arrow. Do you see a forced smile? Is there a Bud Light or a Gin&Tonic present? Not too many friends? A look of befuddled desperation that can only mean it's almost last call?

I'm going to take a stab and say that you probably wish you weren't too cool to untag pics.


4 Reactions to this post

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  1. Anonymous said... October 26, 2011 at 8:51 AM

    you knocked this clear out of the park

  2. Anonymous said... October 26, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    pure unabashed genius

  3. Anonymous said... March 7, 2012 at 9:45 PM

    But, 2004 was seriously photoshopped. 2008, no photoshop at all. It does make a difference. Either way, unfunny.

  4. Dub Jeezy said... March 20, 2012 at 7:40 PM

    you must be ugly as hell

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