Friday, June 11, 2010

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When Will A Normal Able-Bodied, Non-Grandma/pa, Non-Hillbilly Person Win The Lottery?

What. The. Fuck. That's supposed to be me wearing a basketball jersey from some league I was in 4 years ago with like 4-7 bros, 10-15 paid models, and a diamond-encrusted check with the word "Mega" crossed out and replaced by "Baller."

Our world doesn't allow a normal, handsome, run-of-the-mill blogger to have success in the lotto game. These people can't even appreciate the happiness of winning because they are filled with dementia or the disease of being a hillbilly bumpkin. It's not fair I say. Granted, they (don't know who) probably prevent guys like me from winning the Lottery because they know we are a breed that can only be classified as "Wild'n Out" when we get money. I remember the day I received my first real paycheck. I basically just split it into three separate checks and gifted three bars with portions of my 40+ hours. So I can kind of get a basic idea of how tonight would go if I won $64 Million.

"Hey bartender, can I get like 467 Bud Lights? Put it on the Jeezy tab, this one's on me ya'll."

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