Monday, June 7, 2010

// //

Has Anyone Successfully Gotten An Answer To A Question They Asked Jeeves?

^smug bastard

Why a lima-bean headed butler was the front-man for is beyond me. I know I wasn't the only one who thought was something entirely different than what it ended up being. I would sit in school and think of things to ask Jeeves. Like, I'm not joking. Just fillin' my Trapper Keeper with questions.

"How many Jelly-Beans can I eat before I get sick?" "
"If I give this girl my candy bar, will she date me?" (I was a stud)

Guess what? Jeeves just directed me to like 140,000 links that certainly didn't answer the question and lead me ridiculously astray. It took me like 4 months to realize the site was your standard search engine instead of some godly question answering service. Anyway, here's how I imagine Jeeves would deal with a question in 2010 if his life depended on it:

"Wow things have been real slow lately since AOL, Yahoo, and that son of a bitch Google came out. Always good to see Bing struggling out there. Whoa..what the hell is that?! Is that a search request? By God! Man the stations, get out every encyclopedia we own and someone get on the hell on Google! This is our time people. This person asks, 'How do you fix your Linksys Router.' Everyone listen!....What the hell is a Linksys Router? 'It's not in the Encyclopedia Brittanica boss' Ok, don't panic. Who's on that Google? Give me the first 140,000 links to what ever this 'router' devise is and we'll let the person figure it out. 'But sir, the person wants an answer not ju..' Shut up, shut up! I know what I am doing. Just give me the Google links. 'Sir, we're taking too long, the person thinks it's their computer, they are going to X out of our tab' I'm a fucking butler guys! I don't know how to answer anything! I saw the internet boom, made something up about answering questions, and we got paid. No one was complaining then, huh? 'The person X'd out and went on Google boss' " ---Jeeve proceeds to go on a murder-suicide rampage.

0 Reactions to this post

Add Comment

Post a Comment