Monday, November 28, 2011

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Are Wilson Chandler, Kenyon Martin, J.R. Smith, and Aaron Brooks Trapped In China?

Introducing Kenyon Martin, one of the most unsavory dudes the NBA has to offer.  Almost a negative one billion % chance that China can stop him from doing whatever he wants for more than 6 minutes.  This outlandish tattoo assures me that he will be out of China within the week (potentially the hour) and will be on an NBA roster with no questions asked.
J.R. Smith, while not being AS unsavory as Kenyon, is right up there.  He's one of those dudes that will miss multiple shots on purpose just so he can get the rebound and record an asterisk-laden triple double.  He's also one of those dudes that will stick his foot under you after you take a jump shot and make sure you tear your ACL.  Good guy. I'm sure he'll be in China jail until like 2031.
Wilson Chandler is a real wild-card.  He always seemed like a quiet, relatively nice dude, but I always worried a bit about how many tats he had on a relatively tat-less Knicks team.  Then I saw this picture and all opinions were changed.  Is that the fucking juggernaut enshrouded in flames?  First off that's awesome.  Secondly, he was traded to Denver and played with both J.R. and Kenyon, so he's undoubtedly been turned into a bad person.

PS. He's averaging 43 points per game.  Having a blast out there.
Poor Aaron.  Poor, poor Aaron.  Dude got some bad intel and got himself stuck in a pretty awful situation.  Mr. Brooks is just your standard, big-headed, third-tier, moderately tatted point guard trying to find his way out there.  Bet he got duped into going to China by some weird spam email that he was just gullible enough to fall for.  C'mon Aaron.  You can't let Nigerian princes convince you to lose your human rights by playing basketball in communist China.  That's rule number 1 of big-headed NBA point guards.  Actually it's not, I just wanted to stress how BIG this man's head is.

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  1. Anonymous said... November 29, 2011 at 7:54 AM

    wilson chandler is misunderstood

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