Monday, November 28, 2011

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Disturbing Trend: Tons Of People Getting Engaged On Facebook

Ever see the movie "Outbreak" with the monkey that bit that dude and that dude subsequently infected the entire world with the super-flu? This is almost EXACTLY like that except there is no monkey and the super-flu is...marriage.

What happened to the classic phrase, "hold your horses"? Come on now. I can't log into Creepbook without being bombarded with "(this person you don't care about) is engaged to (this person you don't know, but if you did you probably wouldn't care about them)." Gone are the days where the only worthwhile relationship news was when that hot girl you didn't know became "single." I'll say it, I'm a little nervous about this development.

There's no number that can measure how far away from marriage I am. I got my hand in too many questionable things to even be considered dateable. My DVR is unpredictable and potentially offensive. I write a blog where my moniker is "Dub Jeezy." I have so many creepy pending messages floating around cyberspace/text-message land that I can be arrested at any minute. And might I add, I'm blogging in my boxers right now. It's at the point where I'd immediately un-engage any girl that had such poor judgment as to accept my proposal because that's irresponsible of her.

On a completely serious note, I'm very nervous that when it's all said and done, I'll end up being the first man that can be classified as a "crazy cat lady."

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  1. Anonymous said... November 29, 2011 at 7:57 AM

    you have to be the biggest catch in the blog community. don't know if that's a good thing

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