Thursday, November 10, 2011

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I'll Take a TV Show, Hold the Man Ass Please



Instead of posting a picture of a man's ass, I chose a picture of a kitten playing with a parrot. If you're upset about that, then this post isn't for you. Now, down to business. I've got a bone to pick with some recent changes in TV censorship. Nudity used to be the no-no of all the TV no-nos out there, but apparently something changed recently. I guess the FCC is down with showing some skin all of a sudden. Parts of the human anatomy popping up left and right all over your TV screen. But that’s not to say that all body parts are welcome, but instead a very specific part. A small niche of nudity, if you will. And a very unwelcome niche it is, if you ask me. What I'm talking about is…the dreaded Man Ass.

During recent viewings of The League (season 2) and American Horror Story, I have been subjected to numerous shots and scenes of unclothed men. I’m talking full frontal ass shots here. No one needs that. We all see enough incidental man ass in porn already. Both of these shows, especially being geared towards men, have no place for such an atrocity. When I sat down for these 20 to 40 minute reasons not to fold my laundry, I signed up for obscure fantasy football references and over-the-top violence. Not gratuitious exposure to the male physique.

And you know what really grinds my gears? The lack of repercussion. Men prancing around all willy nilly, flaunting all sort of nooks and crannys that should never see the light of day. Yet nary a hint of the female form can be found in return.

What happened to equal rights? Is this the beginning of some strange bizarro era where women objectify men? If this isn't a sign of the oncoming apocalypse, I don't know what is. Also, while we’re on the topic, can we talk American Horror Story for a second? Shit is just a composite of every horror movie ever made. So far I’ve spotted elements from Amityville Horror, The Shining, Frankenstein, Pulp Fiction (think the gimp), and probably a few others I’m forgetting at the moment. I’m going to keep watching it though, of course. Because my fear of actual social interaction forces me to accept any invitation to avoid the outside world. But here’s hoping they don’t decide to take The Human Centipede route any time soon. That’s some man ass I definitely don’t want to see.

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