Wednesday, November 23, 2011

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Didn't Realize How Creepy Of A Night Thanksgiving-Eve Was

^What the fuck is going on here?

Facebook and Twitter are abuzz with some of the most anticipated, overzealous, guaranteed to be disappointing statuses about drinking and getting wild tonight. The whole, "Let's hit up (local bar we know everyone's going to be at) and get wasted tonight" spiel is running a bit dry. I saw three separate statuses that said they were shitfaced prior to 4pm. What? Isn't Mom cooking? Doesn't your family want to see you and spend some time with you? Call me a loser, but I don't get it. I'll be hungover on literally 364 other days, but the day before Thanksgiving is something that should be left alone.

I guess the shit's contagious because I threw out a couple friend requests to a few girls I didn't even talk to back in high school. What's weirder is that I'm not even in my high school town to capitalize on said Hail Mary friend requests, it's just the atmosphere this day creates. It gives you a feeling that it's ok to take a couple errant shots with girls that may or may not be 3-5 years younger than you and tell your parents not to sleep too soundly because they may be getting a call at 3:17 a.m. from you desperately seeking a ride outside of that girl's house you didn't end up hooking up with. What's almost worse than the girls you'll try to get with because you were cool as fuck in high school are the dudes you're going to have to talk to because you were cool as fuck in high school. Rehashing that 37 yard punt return, that girl you made out with in the woods, and that time you swore at the teacher in Stats weren't that cool to begin with, but on this night, they'll devour 30 minutes of conversation.

Look at your Mom right now. Guarantee she's fucking pissed. She knows she raised a creepy, horndog of a jackass who is just aching to get out and sneak a girl back into her basement while the turkey is still in the oven. Obviously, that's an awesome feat to accomplish if you can, but let's be real, that girl doesn't like you and you're not a ninja so you'll probably make a ton of noise if you try to bring her back.

Leave Mom alone and watch Happy Feet 2 with the fam or some shit.

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