Thursday, November 3, 2011

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These Flashlight Car Slippers Can Be The Most Important Christmas Gift I Ever Receive

Pretty sure I've been in a permanent "fork in the road" since I graduated college and these car-flashlight slippers may have presented the choice I need to make. Sure I got a solid job, some friends, and write one of the top blogs on the internet, but there's no real direction. No "right" or "wrong" taking place. Just walking around in Adidas sandals everyday faking like I have legit slippers on.

There's almost a 300% chance that these slippers would improve my life. Numbers can't even quantify what would happen if I acquired flashlight-slipper swag. I'd most certainly quit my job tomorrow based solely on the fact that Tyra would call within the week asking if I could judge next season's "America's Next Top Model." There's no credential quite like having the ability to light up a room in the event of a power outage with my big toe and pinky toe.

As each Christmas goes along I want less. Instead of video games and Ipods, I'm asking for shit I need, like dress shirts and pots/pans. It's boring as hell and nothing can match the depression of opening up a 16-piece cooking set from Guy Fieri. This year my top gift is, and I shit you not, an umbrella. Not just any umbrella, but an absolutely unstoppable baller umbrella. I want to be that asshole with the 10-foot diameter 'brella that takes up the entire sidewalk and just laugh in the face of wind gusts. I'm tired of having umbrellas implode the second I step into a wind tunnel. So yeah, as you can tell, things are going downhill at an alarming rate.

If I don't get these Pixar-"Cars 2"-lawsuit-pending flashlight slippers, I'll just die.

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  1. leather slippers said... December 1, 2011 at 1:57 AM

    This slippers are really comfy and cozy. Great for very cold weathers and this would be perfect this holiday season.


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