Wednesday, November 16, 2011

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Why Is "Marcel The Shell" Catnip For Girls?

No I didn't watch the video.  I'm just looking at this thing with complete judgment, no rationale, and overall confusion.  Granted, I cannot come close to getting a grasp on the female brain, but I have to come at you guys on this.

There is no reason that a mollusk with L.A. Lights on should have 12 billion Youtube views.  I don't care what adventures he gets involved in or how shrilly his voice is.  If Working Man's Diary is going to take off, I'm going to need to attack established media figures.  Kinda like 50 Cent when he attacked every rapper in the industry, except I'm attacking a shell with motherfucking shoes on.  So ladies, what's up?  As an established internet funny man, how do I stand out in the harsh Youtube popularity warzone?  Do I go cute and wear something frilly and give reviews on Gossip Girl episodes?  Maybe go harsh and slander the shit out of this shell so I can piss off all the female readers?

Jokes aside I'm just jealous as fuck.  If I wake up one day and my blog is that new chick "catnip" then I can die a happy man.  I'll finally have groupies, get VIP section drinks, and quite possibly holla at that Indian chick from Fox's "The New Girl."  I'm a dreamer and this shell is my god damn nightmare.

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  1. Dub Jeezy said... November 16, 2011 at 11:10 PM

    this post is going to get like 1000 unfunnies

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