Thursday, November 3, 2011

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The United States Lost $38 Billion Dollars Waiting For The Cable Guy Last Year

"Uhh, yeah, we'll get a guy there on Thursday between the hours of 8:00 a.m. and 10:45 p.m."

Ever hear that? It's the moment when you sacrifice all of your human rights and are at the mercy of the cable company. It's the closest a respectable person can be to imprisonment. Want to grab a bite to eat? The dude will show up as soon as you're just out of ear shot from your place. Want to take a shower? As soon as you turn on the water and close the door, the cable guy will ring the doorbell at a volume one decibel lower than the shower noise--and he'll ring once and sprint away, so you have to sprint downstairs before he's peeling off in his beat up cable van Vin Diesel style.

That 9 hour window they give you makes me feel like I'm running a crystal meth lab in a cop riddled neighborhood. Paranoid as fuck. I'm in my room like a jackass, pacing back and forth constantly looking out the window with the TV volume basically on mute with the closed captions on. Not a way to live life. Ignoring phone calls, Gchats, work emails, and necessities like going to the bathroom all to get my god damn On-Demand working again. I bet Saul would have my cable running in like 30 seconds.

Is it bad that I'm STILL equating large sums of money with McDoubles. $38 billion seems like a lot more money when you think of the racks on racks of McDoubles you can have.

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  1. Kyle said... November 4, 2011 at 9:13 AM

    I was given a window of 5pm to 8pmn last Saturday and the guy showed up at 8:05. I would of complained to the company except that when he got there he set up my whole place in about 4 minutes and was the coolest guy ever. Makes you wonder why he was even late considering how proficient he is at his job..... On second thought, maybe I should have complained.

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