Tuesday, November 15, 2011

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These Are Either The Best Or Worst Shoes I've Ever Seen

What looks would you give someone in Google sneakers? I'm a judgmental cat and even I don't know how I'd scan someone rocking these up the street.

On the one hand, these can be the most baller sneakers ever to be created, but on the other, you can definitely see Ronald McDonald wearing these alongside Grimace and the Hamburglar. Grimace will ruin even the sliest dude's swag. Because I have no idea what the kids are into these days I'll rehash a memory of the worst shoes that I have ever worn.

These shit's were GROSS. Every kid that bought these was absolutely delusional. Allen Iverson was good, but he wasn't patent-leather good. None of that mattered because just about every dude in middle school had them. Each guy recognizing their feet looked ugly as fuck. I remember it didn't fully hit me until I tried to be funny and joke on a kid for having a weird gold bubble on the side of his sneaker. When he responded with, "You got one on yours too, idiot" I knew we've been had. It takes a real man to know when he's been hoodwinked/bamboozled, but I realized it with a bunch of other middle schoolers. We all looked at each other, fully realizing a collective bad decision, and forged ahead through the hallways where the girls that ignored us, ignored us even more because we had patent-leather fucking shoes on.

In case you want to buy them, they're $180 and there is a 90% chance you look like a jackass*

*-doesn't apply to hipsters.

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