Friday, June 24, 2011

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Friday Depressing Question: When Did Your Life Start Going Downhill?



Cool Friday question, but not really. This shit's actually terribly depressing for so many reasons. It's even worse when people can answer the question at the drop of the dime like..I can. 6th grade. That was it for me. I've been a snowball rolling down a moderately steep hill ever since.

Let's paint the picture. I'll start by saying I was the fucking man. Killing it at just about every facet, because that's all you can hope for these days. Academically I was murdering math tests and giggling at social studies exams. Athletically I was one of the most dominant PGs in NYC (true story) and was getting some Ohio St.-esque treatment from potential suitors--like gym bags, offers for sneakers, and trips. Big ups to Terrelle Pryor, I would have done the same thing. Socially, I was the belle of the ball. Tons of friends and girls wrote me those "Do you like me: Yes? No?" things. On top of the world. Couldn't ask for anything more at the time. As soon as the bell rang on the last day of 6th grade is truthfully the start of the end of my life. I legitimately peaked at 11 years old, respectively.

Fast forward to now. First off, I had trouble spelling "significantly" today--that's not good. Athletically, I regressed from an all-world point guard, to a weird, gangly combo-forward thing that just chucked ugly mid-rangers off the backboard. Now I'm a playground legend at a park inhabited by high-school youths and crackheads. It's fine. Socially, I have like 7 total friends. 922 Facebook friends, but legitimately 7 actual friends. I'm at a solid job and I have a 401K. Cell phone contacts are almost barren as far as women go, and my PS3 just wants me to stop playing it so much. So, when did your life start to go downhill?

And the snowball keeps a tumbling.

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