Wednesday, June 8, 2011

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I'm Probably The Only Person That Struggles With Perforated Lines

Come on now. This is literally the most bullshit example, but it's the best I can find. To me, a typical, dedicated perforated line is nearly invisible and basically the same thing as the paper itself. Clearly I've been dealing with an undetected mental deficiency.

Things came to light when I was in the break room and had to open the new box of sugar packets. I thought it was going to be one of those pull back the tab things, but nope, a god damn perforated line. Acting as my kryptonite for years. You know how many SATs I had to snag? Three. Three motherfuckin SAT packets were ripped to shreds before I can even get started. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. You don't know wrath until you hold up the most important test everyone in the room is taking for 15 minutes. But back to the sugar packet box. It was a disaster scene. Packets of sugar everywhere. The box was sliced into thirds, which I didn't even know was possible. I made an effort to concentrate too. Damn near broke down and cried at 9:04am.

Sure, you can knock me. Call me stupid and uncoordinated all you want, but you all have that random thing you can't do well for some reason. Some people can't fold paper evenly. I can fold the shit out of paper, but I don't throw stones at you. Just relate and slide gracefully over humpday.


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